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We can do
anything. Except speak English.
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Audacious, Humorous, Provocative
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Contents 11 The Führer-Shine German licence to conquer Britain by car 12 Junckers Ltd. Britain’s
new Challenge 14 Auf in den Kampf ...
28 Corbyn cutting his suit according to
his cloth 30 “Aufbau North” Swollowing Pride and Prejudice 32 Scotch on the Rocks England’s Blend of Hope and Glory 39 Letter from America Volkswagen’s Trump Card ‘The Presidential Cheetah’ 43 The Promised Land The tempting sound of an English word 69 Fake News 70 The ominous and sinister McPye A story written with the likelihood of bias 76 German Epilogue German Delicacies The WURST is
still the best Germany
first! – Say “JA” to Dexit 83 British Epilogue I have a cream ... Britain on a sharp edge British handyman The Lion’s Pen Leap in the dark Global Britain – Sweet and sour High Wire Act – Back to the future The Month of Merry May 91 Remember, Remember ... |
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To the British people My most respected British friends I fear there are some things you do not want to hear. My words – that can be sharp and also lax – audaciously reveal some hidden facts that shape the inmost spirit of our nations and influence our mutual relations. Yet if you take them with a pinch of salt, forgive the odd mistake and random fault, my words may be regarded as a gift. They seek to understand and heal our rift. |
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Excerpts “Auf in den Kampf ...” Oh, What a
Lovely Chore ... The blood of German pacifists began to curdle when their keen President removed the final hurdle. For he had heard of boisterous and unruly chaps that seemed most apt to fill the German armies’ gaps. Those boys were most deprived and ever so
hard-bitten and hung around the very bleakest parts of Britain. Recruiters knew the very spots where they could find these reckless men that had the proper frame of mind. The Germans combed the sites where riots once took
place and mustered all the hooligans that they could trace to lick the toughest of the toughest into shape to stop them from committing crimes like theft and
rape. In Germany they then could start their new career as private, sergeant, officer or brigadier. All chosen British lads were filled with pride and
awe the day when solemnly and publicly they swore together they would march, together they would stand and die for their
new leaders, folk and fatherland. ... While Germany arranged her matters of defence in Britain sentiments were getting rather tense. The German army’s most peculiar composition here largely was regarded with immense suspicion: A German force with British men that had been
bought? That was indeed a shocking and most frightening
thought! At home these boys knew every hidden nook and cranny which they had rummaged round while guarded by their
granny. Unlike the common foreign soldier or odd ranger these boys were posing now a most potential danger, for with their help the German army might succeed in conquering Britain with unprecedented speed. The fear that these fine boys could be a threat to
Britain was taken seriously and virtually written across all public buildings and on every wall that could be found inside a British city hall, while ordinary people asked: Whose fault is this? Where did we err? Where did our country
go amiss? The anxious British Prime Minister took the blame and tried to drain the swamp from which those blighters
came. A nationwide initiative was swiftly
started to close the gap by which society was
parted, as this had been described as one
essential reason that prompted British sons to actions close to treason. ... |
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“Aufbau North“ Swallowing Pride and
Prejudice They say that Corbyn
is a man that for his part supports the people of the North with all his heart. This is the region that gives rise to
various disputes as here some of the British troubles have
their roots. To solve these grievous problems Corbyn
has begun to ask some British
specialists what should be done to turn the North once more into a blooming
scene to make it wealthy, habitable and serene. He learnt in theory this
wasn’t a big thing, in practice it would be a mission for a king. Yet over this the Labour Party got divided and this is why their Leader cleverly
decided to leave the execution of the job at hand to veritable experts that do understand how one should tackle matters of such vast dimensions although this meant he had
to break with old conventions. |
“Risen
from Ruins”