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 Der Brite als solcher    Shäkespeare lässt grüßen

     Die Briten            The Führer-Shine

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Bonn Satire   Tullimericks

Brexit News

 

 

 

The Führer-Shine.jpg

 

in English

 

Audacious, Humorous, Provocative

 

Paperback

11 x 17,5 cm

94 pages

10,80 EUR

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Book orders post-free within Germany at

 

Buchbestellungen versandfrei in Deutschland bei

 

 

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  45@bvb-remmel.de

www.bvb-remmel.de

 

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Contents

 

11 The Führer-Shine

German licence to conquer Britain by car

 

12 Junckers Ltd.      

Britain’s new Challenge

 

14 Auf in den Kampf ...

Oh, What a Lovely ....jpg

 

28 Corbyn cutting his suit according to his cloth

 

30 “Aufbau North”

Swollowing Pride and Prejudice

 

32 Scotch on the Rocks

England’s Blend of Hope and Glory

 

39 Letter from America

Volkswagen’s Trump Card

‘The Presidential Cheetah’

 

43 The Promised Land

The tempting sound of an English word

 

69 Fake News

 

70 The ominous and sinister McPye

A story written with the likelihood of bias

 

76 German Epilogue

 

German Delicacies

The WURST is still the best

 

Germany first! – Say “JA” to Dexit

 

83 British Epilogue

 

I have a cream ...

 

Britain on a sharp edge

 

British handyman

 

The Lion’s Pen

 

Leap in the dark

 

Global Britain – Sweet and sour

 

High Wire Act – Back to the future

 

The Month of Merry May

 

91 Remember, Remember ...

 

 

 

To the British people

 

My most respected British friends I fear

there are some things you do not want to hear.

My words – that can be sharp and also lax –

audaciously reveal some hidden facts

that shape the inmost spirit of our nations

and influence our mutual relations.

Yet if you take them with a pinch of salt,

forgive the odd mistake and random fault,

my words may be regarded as a gift.

They seek to understand and heal our rift.

 

 

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Excerpts

 

“Auf in den Kampf ...”

 

Oh, what ....jpg

...

 

The blood of German pacifists began to curdle

when their keen President removed the final hurdle.

For he had heard of boisterous and unruly chaps

that seemed most apt to fill the German armies’ gaps.

Those boys were most deprived and ever so hard-bitten

and hung around the very bleakest parts of Britain.

 

Recruiters knew the very spots where they could find

these reckless men that had the proper frame of mind.

The Germans combed the sites where riots once took place

and mustered all the hooligans that they could trace

to lick the toughest of the toughest into shape

to stop them from committing crimes like theft and rape.

 

In Germany they then could start their new career

as private, sergeant, officer or brigadier.

All chosen British lads were filled with pride and awe

the day when solemnly and publicly they swore

together they would march, together they would stand

and die for their new leaders, folk and fatherland.

 

...

 

While Germany arranged her matters of defence

in Britain sentiments were getting rather tense.

The German army’s most peculiar composition

here largely was regarded with immense suspicion:

A German force with British men that had been bought?

That was indeed a shocking and most frightening thought!

 

At home these boys knew every hidden nook and cranny

which they had rummaged round while guarded by their granny.

Unlike the common foreign soldier or odd ranger

these boys were posing now a most potential danger,

for with their help the German army might succeed

in conquering Britain with unprecedented speed.

 

The fear that these fine boys could be a threat to Britain

was taken seriously and virtually written

across all public buildings and on every wall

that could be found inside a British city hall,

while ordinary people asked: Whose fault is this?

Where did we err? Where did our country go amiss?

 

The anxious British Prime Minister took the blame

and tried to drain the swamp from which those blighters came.

A nationwide initiative was swiftly started

to close the gap by which society was parted,

as this had been described as one essential reason

that prompted British sons to actions close to treason.

 

...

 

“Aufbau North“

 Swallowing Pride and Prejudice

 

They say that Corbyn is a man that for his part

supports the people of the North with all his heart.

This is the region that gives rise to various disputes

as here some of the British troubles have their roots.

To solve these grievous problems Corbyn has begun

to ask some British specialists what should be done

to turn the North once more into a blooming scene

to make it wealthy, habitable and serene.

He learnt in theory this wasn’t a big thing,

in practice it would be a mission for a king.

Yet over this the Labour Party got divided

and this is why their Leader cleverly decided

to leave the execution of the job at hand

to veritable experts that do understand

how one should tackle matters of such vast dimensions

although this meant he had to break with old conventions.

Corbyn - Look at this.jpg

“Risen from Ruins”

 

 

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